The XFL is back! And I personally couldn’t be happier about it.
After making a brief return in 2020 and then being forced to close shop because of the COVID-19 pandemic, the XFL is set for yet another relaunch with opening weekend kicking off on Saturday.
This go-around, the league is under a new ownership group, led by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Dany Garcia and RedBird Capital Partners. The XFL features eight teams — the Arlington Renegades, D.C. Defenders, Houston Roughnecks, Orlando Guardians, San Antonio Brahmas, Seattle Sea Dragons, St. Louis Battlehawks and my Vegas Vipers.
On Wednesday, the league revealed their jerseys. Here are my rankings from worst to first:
8. Orlando Guardians
Highlighting the paradise that Orlando is.
Pre-sale registration now available!#XFL2023
— Orlando Guardians (@XFLGuardians) December 7, 2022
7. St. Louis Battlehawks
Every. Last. Detail. Matters.
We want opportunities to become dreams, but it doesn’t hurt to look FRESH while doing it ?#XFL2023
— St. Louis Battlehawks (@XFLBattlehawks) December 7, 2022
6. San Antonio Brahmas
It’s all in the details. #XFL2023
— San Antonio Brahmas (@XFLBrahmas) December 7, 2022
5. Houston Roughnecks
We pay attention to the details.
Pre-sale registration is now available! #XFL2023
— Houston Roughnecks (@XFLRoughnecks) December 8, 2022
4. D.C. Defenders
The details do matter#XFL2023
— D.C. Defenders (@XFLDefenders) December 7, 2022
3. Arlington Renegades
Simple but striking. Defiant but bold.
We’re embracing that true rebel spirit…the Texas way.#XFL2023
— Arlington Renegades (@XFLRenegades) December 7, 2022
2. Seattle Sea Dragons
???????? ???? down to the last stitch ? #XFL2023
— Seattle Sea Dragons (@XFLSeaDragons) December 7, 2022
1. Vegas Vipers
The details behind the best uniforms in the XFL.#XFL2023
— Vegas Vipers (@XFLVipers) December 7, 2022
Even though I live in Florida, I’m personally rockin’ with the Vegas Vipers as my team, and for a few reasons:
1. Miami doesn’t have a team. I don’t really understand why, but whatever.
2. The only team we have in Florida is in Orlando (a city I despise driving in, which makes me not want to root for them), and the Guardians’ jerseys are complete shit. As you see, I have them dead last. (Another reason why I couldn’t rock with the first edition of the Vipers — the jerseys were shit. I was without a team back then as a result.)
3. It gives me an excuse to root for a Las Vegas team and have a connection to the city. As everybody knows, I’m Daily Caller’s Mr. 305 representing the city of Miami and all of its sports teams, but Vegas is definitely my second favorite city on the planet. So I’m taking advantage of this opportunity. (RELATED: ‘I Am So Nervous’: Kansas City Chiefs’ Travis Kelce To Host ‘Saturday Night Live’)
4. You saw those jerseys, by far the best in the league. How the hell can you not root for that swag? And when they become available to purchase, you better believe I’ll be one of the first ones giving the XFL and Vipers my money. I want to rock that drip. So fresh.
Shout out to Vegas, and go Vipers!